My wife is objectively, quantifiably, irrefutably, and without any qualification, the best. The latest evidence of this was our small family celebration of my birthday, themed after Minecraft in a manner any 10 year old would envy.

Creepers and Endermen everywhere, blocky food on the menu, even my own Nether Portal.

Creepers and Endermen everywhere, blocky food on the menu, even my own Nether Portal.

A Creeper made from paper, streamers, and a balloon.

A Creeper made from paper, streamers, and a balloon.

The cards represent the birthday menu ... kind of. My wife even made the sword from card stock. Notice the tablecloth? Yeah, that's diamond ore.

The cards represent the birthday menu … kind of. My wife even made the sword from card stock. Notice the tablecloth? Yeah, that’s diamond ore.

A Minecrafty Birthday banner, and the sign clarifying that the purple and black are a Nether Portal, just in case I didn't get it.

A Minecrafty Birthday banner, and the sign clarifying that the purple and black are a Nether Portal, just in case I didn’t get it.

Another look at the Nether Portal and birthday banner. Also, notice the Creeper and Enderman balloons.

Another look at the Nether Portal and birthday banner. Also, notice the Creeper and Enderman balloons.

Don't look at it!!!

Don’t look at it!!!

This cake looks kind of familiar ...

This cake looks kind of familiar …

Our menu was brilliantly connected to Minecraft items. A lot of these were for my son, who was not going to want to eat the pizza or the cake. But he loves pretzel sticks (sticks), Hershey's Kisses (diamonds), Reeses Pieces (in a carrot-shaped package for Easter) and cookies (cookies ... duh). And no, you cannot make pizza in vanilla Minecraft. That's my son's hand sneakily snatching the cookies away, btw.

Our menu was brilliantly connected to Minecraft items. A lot of these were for my son, who was not going to want to eat the pizza or the cake. But he loves pretzel sticks (sticks), Hershey’s Kisses (diamonds), Reeses Pieces (in a carrot-shaped package for Easter) and cookies (cookies … duh). And no, you cannot make pizza in vanilla Minecraft. That’s my son’s hand sneakily snatching the cookies away, btw.

What does this crafting recipe make? Hint: you won't be going to the Nether without it.

What does this crafting recipe make? Hint: you won’t be going to the Nether without it.

Now those are my kind of carrots.

Now those are my kind of carrots.

Square pizza. You know. Because Minecraft.

Square pizza. You know. Because Minecraft.

A yummy green slime juice ... potion ... concoction ... thing.

A yummy green slime juice … potion … concoction … thing.

Ok ok. We know that Potions of Healing are red, but we didn't want to call them Potions of Leaping.

Ok ok. We know that Potions of Healing are red, but we didn’t want to call them Potions of Leaping.

Minecraft POV sword swinging.

Minecraft POV sword swinging.

Minecraft POV eating. chomp chomp chomp.

Minecraft POV eating. chomp chomp chomp.

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